Friday, May 1, 2009

ABAMEDITM understands that everyone is mugging..


ABAMEDITM understands that everyone is busy mugging for the exams now, and by adhering with our policy about serving our readers, we've come up with some new ideas to help all you hardcore muggers.

To better prepare you for your LangArts/Lit exams, we have posted a written commentary written by us. We aim to use this essay to show all of you hopelessly helpless people out there the skills of writing an awesome written commentary, fully deserving of 7 points or an A1.

So fret not, we're here to dispel all you're doubts and queries regarding the language art form.

Here is a sample passage, like one you may experience reading during the said examination.

This man was older, and had scars running along his cheek. His eyes were dark and haunted with the knowledge of one who had fought in countless battles. ‘Mind if I take a seat, lad?’ he asked. The younger man made no reply. The veteran sat down and sighed. He picked up the sword, and swung it in an arc through the air, testing for balance. Apparently satisfied, the veteran set the sword back on the table. ‘Good sword you got there.’

It was obvious that the sword was cared for. The sword was polished, candle light reflected off of its surface. The edge was sharpened, with no notches or scratches. The veteran sighed once more. ‘You do know that there’s no chance that we’ll survive this battle right? I knew this day would come eventually though,’ the veteran said gruffly.

The younger man replied, his mouth barely moving. ‘Yeah, I know.’ His voice was quiet, yet confident.'

The veteran scratched his cheek. ‘You’re not worried? Hah, you have a strong will for a recruit then.

A shadow of a smile flickered through the recruit’s face. ‘I was worried. In fact, I couldn’t stop my hands from shaking until this final hour. I realized that I can’t die, not yet. I still have something to do… before I let my soul be claimed by the icy fingers of death.’

Adapted from Prologue - '(A Stormy Night/Sharkeye)' by Rydæven

From the opening lines of the passage, readers can tell that the character Sharkeye is a 'dark' and 'haunted' person, that 'had scars running along his cheek'. From this, we can tell that Sharkeye was involved in some sort of struggle which resulted in his facial disfigurement and dark haunted-ness. Perhaps the scar is a result of a failed previous attempt.

The author has made it very clear that Sharkeye is a homosexual sexual predator. Both he and the recruit have probably talked to each other over the internet and have decided to meet up at a barracks, of all places. Whatever the case may be, the recruit seems to be oblivious to what is about to happen to him, as he voice is 'quiet yet confident'.

The old man also seems fascinated with long and rather sharp objects, such as the sword belonging to the young man sitting next to him. Playing with the man's sword has 'apparently satisfied' him. This is more evidence of the old man being a pedophile, preying on younger men.

Lastly, the 'icy fingers of death' mentioned in the passage obviously have two meanings, both literal and metaphorical......

In conclusion, the author of 'Prologue' might have gone through what the characters in the passage have, and felt compelled to write about it , hoping to spread his message of dangers gay sex predators on the internet.

Sheep's Portion:
Infer from passage-

- "Old man sits with young warrior" = pedophile.

- "Both Old man and young warrior are males" = gay.

- "Before I let my soul be claimed by the icy fingers of death" = when he turned gay. And pedo.

Therefore, old man is a gay pedophile.


We hope that these inferences have helped you understand the passage much better than you may have previously.

- this post was originally meant for friday, but we were too busy. blog may go on hiatus until end of examinations, sorry everyone. also, apologies to Dornel if any offence is taken.

-sheep//zong

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Sheep's Teacher Review #1: AZMI

Shylock smells something fishy going on.

Well, today Zong has some stuff to attend to so it's just me soloing this post - hence it probably won't be funny. Yeah... most of the funny comes from him with random spurts from me here and there. In any case, since I can't think of any decent thing to talk about, I think I'll just talk about my dear teachers - meaning if this blog gets caught somehow I'm screwed.

So let's just talk about... Ar-Za-Mi.
We all know who he is, the malay man with the moustache carrying his black tote bag as he struts around the school, his chest and stomach bulging out from his belt and obviously he's well-known for magnificent tantrums such as kicking down chairs, shouting repeatedly at Ethan even when he's not doing anything and "Don't make something fly!"

We've also learned about his private life which he generously talked about during a lit remedial last year, how he references his wife and 4 daughters to the 'trophies' as stated in Mice and Men. He's the CT of 3.07 this year, Mr. Ar-Za-Mi BiN SaLiM (Henceforth known as AZMI).

-clapclapclap-

In my opnion, AZMI is a clumsy forgetful teacher whom sticks too close to the rules. It's possibly because of his dark (no pun intended) past, from events like failing A'Levels 5 times and having a job like being a policeman, to dealing with 2.05 (hah).

Everyday, he enters the class with a decieving smile on his face (well it looks more like a frown), and then he acts like a dear Mr.KT. "Do you think this class is in an acceptable state!?" or basically going for the bad boys "Ethan! Ethan! Marc! Vanzino!" seemingly in an attempt to rise up to the power level of Mr.KT (OVER 9000!).

..if you've never heard that one before you go out too much.

He's probably the 2nd worst teacher for me next to Mdm.YLB. The way he speaks is super boring and literally made me fall asleep during class today. He also doesn't have anything much to say, he reads from the slides and doesn't add much more on, making it effectively readfest. His marking is also not flexible (for example, if a word isnt in the list of vocabulary acceptable fr the Compre vocab questions, he won't accept it no matter what).

And ya'll have seen his profound literary skills from last year, eh?

If I had to give him a rating as a teacher:
6.5/10

Memorable/WTF Arzami Quotes/Moments :

1. "IOP?..........Well, I will go find out what that is and I'll come back to you all."
2. Giving out the answer for the Lit Exam the day before.
3. "Come Closer..." -moves closer- "blahblah.." -OHMYGODKILLERBREATH-
4. "Ah.. Madam is.. Madam Shoe right? Shoe Shee Hung?" (Shu Xu Hong)

And that is all for today, Thursday, 30/4/09.

If Zong is free tomorrow we'll probably have a more assuming, gutbusting LOLtastical post up.
Please anticipate our series of posts which will start from tomorrow:

ABEDITM'S STUDY GUIDE FOR MID-YEARS 2009!

-Sheep

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

apologizing apologetically


Hello, this is ABEDITM.


We are, sincerely, from the deepest bowels of our hearts, sorry for being unable to come up with brilliant tactical methods that will allow you to burst your guts laughing while staring at a glowing screen while unaware of the stress that comes with having to entertain an audience.

We hope that you will accept our..... uh, very sincere apology and that you will be able to, out of the kindness of your deep dark hearts, forgive us.


We blame it on exams.


Let's just reminesce about stupid stuff. Remember STFU?

Smell
The
Fresh
Umbrellas

Have a nice life.
-sheep//zong

Monday, April 27, 2009

View The World From Danyal's Perspective


Today, we here at ABAMEDITM challenge you, our dear readers, to view the world from Danyal's perspective.

We hereby present to you our views below, and you may also feel free to do so too in the CBOX.





Dear Diary,

I think I grew today! YAY! Now i don't have to be looked down on by almost everyone I know in my life! I can visualize the astonished look on Zong and Sheep's faces tomorrow when they see me in all my HIGHER glory! HA!

well, i guess now i have to get new clothes, shoes, socks, and stuff now that i've grown. hm. i also guess i won't be cute anymore. hm.

Anyway, today there was a nice little advertisement about the bollywood dance (bangrah dance?) thing during chapel. There were some rather taller Indians dancing on stage. how i wish i could be like them, showing off my fantastic dancing skills in front of the school, and being praised by Dr Ong.....

....Dr Ong's just so dreamy.... that swervy hair and manly tie...
And his talks about the.. blue indian ocean.. strategy... haaah...

I guess I can now, with my new attained tall-ness. Finally, all my years in Drama have paid off! I'm now tall enough to fulfill my childhood dream of becoming a Bollywood action star!

Oh gosh, it's 10:01! That's all for me today, I stayed up past my bedtime and i still gotta do some more of Shamilla's hot stuff...

-Danyal Motiwalla



-sheep//zong

the intro-prologue-duction post

Sheep: my man-parts are in danger now.

Yaaay, a new blog. Welcome to the ABAMEDITM blog although the name has been shortened for your inconvenience. Hopefully you will enjoy your stay here, and if you please, just imagine that the banana is dancing.

This is the blog where the epic shit hits the fan, of course jointly hosted by your 2 good friends, Sheep and Zong.




Indeed, this blog will have a schedule to follow. Hopefully something will be posted everyday.
You will soon see...
THE MENU FOR MONDAY!
-sheep//zong